Frankly ... it felt no different than any of my previous b'days.. it's just another ordinary days only it's your b'day.. and of course you should feel nervous because you're leaving the 20's series phase of life... it supposed to be BIG thing for you... but... i don't feel any different.. unfortunately... sorry for disappointing.. maybe because i was born ready-made-to-face-the-world kind of person.. so i was kind of prepared for whatever may fall in front of me...
30. not married. still in debts. still trying to move on from so-called terrible break-up. my Gawd.. i'm so not well-prepared for this.. they say when you reach 30; you should have "tick" almost half of you bucket-list .. and i'm still merely... not even quarter of the list... this is so sad.. so freakin' sad.. like.. dying-mode sad.. but just not dying.. i know i'm exaggerating..(come on.. what do you expect? we're woman.. we were born to be exaggerating.. telling the truth is just too boring) .. and to top it all up.. i bumped into my EX(with his new bitch) ON MY B'DAY .. i mean... how dramatic is that?? like seriously.. what is it that the Universe is trying to tell me? have i not changed yet? do i still have to encounter that phase again? ... really...??
But still... 1 thing that i'm grateful of is that... the youth in me is still shining throughout my exhausting life.. from what i've been through.. there should be some few fine-lines on my face... but i thanked to Gravity for not taking it away... FOR NOW... well..
honestly speaking.. i really don't mind if i have to encounter him again.. i wasn't flinching when i saw him.. it was kind of .. no-emotion-stare .. kind of encounter.. as if.. i wasn't care.. as if.. the feeling is just.. neutral... and it felt like.. its all good.. thanked God..
so... being 30 and still rocking it.. it's not really a bad thing after all... people still think that i'm younger than my age..(seriously?? guys?? sa ble jadi anti muda kamu woooh) ... which was really flattering .. and ... unbelievable .. (laughing)
and it doesn't matter if some part of your goals aren't there yet.. it's ok.. it's all about timing.. trust the timing of your life... what matter most is you enjoyed your life... start living than make a living... because we'll never know when we're gonna die.. as long as you believe that you have a purpose on this terminal life.. then stick to it.. and do it.. achieved those goals.. whatever makes you happy.. even if it's just a small thing to others.. it's pretty much a big thing for you...
LOVE LIFE? don't sweat it.. don't force it.. if it doesn't work out... then it wasn't meant to be.. not that i'm telling you to give up... you know what i meant... if you truly believe thats your destiny... GO FOR IT... nobody has the right to set up your happiness except yourself.. you're the one who holds the pen.. how can other do it for you? kan?? thats what i'm doing now... i know i've fucked up for soooo many times.. and i know all that i've planned didn't workout... i still believe there is LOVE.. i still believe in HOPE.. and i know... though i haven't seen it.. my destiny will come to me.. even if it takes me forever to see it..
So YEah... My b'day rocks!!! don't have to celebrate grandly... as long as i have my loved ones (Friends and Family) .. i am Enough...
30 and still rocking it baby!!