Questions

so many questions
I'm meaning to ask you
from why me?
why then?
why this? and
why now?
this heavy lifting
I felt inside me
keeps dragging
Me down
deeper underground

it caused me
my time
my mind
my soul
my heart as well
when you
made me fall
This heart, it fell
And when it breaks
lips flatten
eyes glisten
over and over
my heart breaks apart
but to you, it shines
like a fine art

and when you're gone
it questioned my song
these lyrics I've written
were no longer sweeten
rather bitten
with awful sour
painful agony
twined with memories
that once was ours

Therefore questions
I'm meaning to ask you
were the same reason
I'm meaning to tell you
that I rather let it be
Than wonder what it'll be
cause the more I know
the harder I'll grow
I hope you'll see
this part of me -
saying farewell
this questions; I'll quell

26-01-2019
 

One of those girls

I'm one of those girls

Who gave up her life

Did it all out

For someone 

she despised

I'm one of those girls

who shoved all tequila

crying over someone

who didn't love ya

I'm one of those girls

that stalks every account

and mocks all those girls

that comment him "Babe"

I'm one of those girls

who desperate

for attention

of his dying 

affection

controlling

his connection

I'm one of those girls

that punches all walls

when he snaps

at your door

with loud voice

he bawls

I'm one of those girls

whom eyes were blind

thought everything

is fine

when the truth

you were twined

we're all of them girls

that mistake was once made

will remind us that hate

won't ever manipulate

our true beliefs

on faith

To all the boys i Loved before

To all the boys

I loved before

I wished I could say

‘I’m sorry’

Once more

There is

One thing

I want

You to know

That I loved

The way

You loved

And that is all

1-7-2018

Angel in disguise

A dying tree

I was indeed

Grown thinner

And much more

Dryer

Rootless tree

Where sun can’t reach

And here I am

Stuck like a leech

Abandoned

From reality

These aimless

Path I went

Outside pavement –

Standing, barely

Blind weak

And draining

 Almost dying

Still not living

And out of no where

There this light

An angel appear

Reach out – oh dear

Holding my hands

And I thought

This must be an angel

It was I thought

Though not a word

Did she muttered

Her hands were warm

Felt I was belonged

7-6-2015

Malaysia

Democracy

Diversity

And unity

Would make the country

Robust you see

As one of Malaysian

Concerned as everyone

Will fight till bleed

To change the history

Today Malaysia has reborn

As mighty as phoenix

It reign its horn

And new Malaysia

Here we go

From the people

To the people

For the people we vowed

We may run out of modesty

For humble and proud of honesty

But we’ll manage over

This amnesia

Back to back we rise

Here, cheers to Malaysia

9-5-2018

L.T

Letter to Little One

To my dearest child,

In one weeks time, you'll be out greeting the world that will offers so much adventures and experiences and hopefully you'll gain happiness from there as well.

Everyone are expecting you and please bear in mind that you'll easily get annoyed with uncountable hugs and kisses from them. but worry not my child because these people loves you and really happy to finally meet you. These are my beautiful friends and family and soon will be yours too.

My child,

I wasn't expecting to meet you sooner than as planned. I have to be honest, Mommy had plans and none of it was concerning you. I was afraid that with you in the picture, I won't be able to tick all the goals; even before marrying your father. But that was selfish and foolish of me. Who would have thought that having you was the Key to Everything. You have been my main priority since and because of you, everything just fall into place; career, studies, financial and of course -  Happiness. 

It wasn't easy carrying you around for 9 months (10 months actually: you were overdue) . There were moments when i couldn't eat for 3 months. Every food that was once mommy's favorite had betrayed me and refused to stay in my tummy. Some couldn't barely get through mommy's throat.

At times, mommy get so angry with your father for making me weak and sometimes i felt as though he didn't care enough to understand my inconveniences.

It's not because he really didn't care, he's just plain clueless of what he should do. I know he's trying his hardest, believe me sweetie i know. Both of us are still learning and hopefully out of this, we'll be a great parent for you soon.

Our prayers are;

For you to be a good and wise person, smart enough to know what's good and bad, we want you to be able to experience life as it is but never forget your beliefs. We won't be able to give you a luxurious life but we'll give you enough of everything and enough for you to be grateful foe the things that we have rather hoping for things that we don't. You will learn that wealth is not everything.

Forgive us sweetie if mommy and daddy are lacking in parenting and bad in giving out good examples. Please do understand that we're still learning and oath to be a good parent for you. But always remember that our love for you are beyond any existence in this universe. Nothing is more precious that having you in our life. You have upgrade both mommy and daddy to the next level of life and it matured us both. You have lead us to parental life; which is way more kickass than anything in the world and for that we're thankful and blessed.

Thank you sweet heart; we love you very much.

See you soon,

Love Mommy and Daddy

06-09-2016

Minodung, Tambunan

**Keira was born on the 24th Sept 2016**

Bad

There's moment
that still bump me
at heart
these moment
once linger and stay
not the times
you used to care
but the things
that kept me aware
that you stung like that
always as bad


25-5-2018