"iya"

Kadang-kadang
Lafaz 'iya' saja mampu
sebab sekali-dua terang pun
pahamnya tidak kau pulun
teranglah seberapa ribu kali
yang sakit bukan kepala mereka
tapi yang ini
tuan punya sendiri

#malar 'kadang-kadang'

Tak Ungkit; Pendam Jer

No.. No i didn't
But somehow this heart
Burns so bad
I can't do this
Packed early morning
and so i leave

with a short text
he found out
empty room he'd panicked
i didn't leave anything
i bring everything
for having another thought of
staying there; i just couldn't bear

This heart hurt too much
but i didn't say anything..

19/04/2015

When betrayal seems real

How could he?
after all that sugar-sweet
talking?
How could he?
Right under my nose 
he betrayed me
How could he?

Trust? Now that's a funny question

He hurt me once
He'll hurt me Twice
How can you expect
He'll never did thrice?

foot note: thrice; three times, extremely, very
19/04/2015

Rage

i write not because
of passion or leisure
i write not for the love of writing

i write not because it's
beautiful today
nor the birds are singing
harmoniously

i write for rage
i write because i'm angry
all the time
especially today

i write because 
this thoughts 
keeps bursting 
out of my head

i write because
when i say those words
that's in my head
it'll cuts deeper
deep into your heart
and you'll die of agony
of depression
that's why i write

And I choose ME

All my life
I've been living a lie
kept impressing people
so they could see me in their 'eye'
to like me and take me
as what they wanted me to be

all my life
i kept chasing these  people
so that they could stay close
and won't mingle
close but not closer but close enough

even if it's hurting me inside
and it left me nothing 
but a burning sight
i just don't mind

An aching heart 
and a drained soul
all the consequences
this LOVE i've sold
for wanting to be loved and more
i forgot i should've
love me....first

so i choose to love me instead
rather than someone else
well,not just yet

cause when they decided
to less care and leave
at least i still have Me
and ME is all i need

Distance

Hanya bila terpisah
Baru faham erti Rindu
Baru belajar erti Kosong
Baru lafaz erti Pulang

Hanya bila terpisah
jarak jadi topik utama
Rajuk mula jadi Punca
Pujuk; rela jadi pengalah

Hanya bila terpisah
Cinta datang dalam bagai bentuk
Ikhlas, Setia, Godaan juga
Hanya bila terpisah
Jujur kita Mula teroka
Uji dia sejauh bisa

Kerna Hanya bila Terpisah
Dia atau Kita
bisa jadi dalangnya
bisa jadi mangsanya
Hanya Bila kita terpisah

#Lama sudah ko di sana lai.. sa lupa sudah muka ko

#kadang-kadang3

Kadang-kadang
kita perlu telan sakit

Untuk bisa jamah
'dessert' nanti

ALONE

i rather stayed home
Alone

Then waiting for you
alone...

#kadang-kadang2

sometimes
i kept thinking what did i ever do
to deserve this?

maybe in my past life 
I've hurt too many people..
probably..

or maybe i just give too much
without concerning my happiness first

either way... do i deserve this?

selfnote

stop thinking about tomorrow
stop putting others in your shoes
stop comparing yours with others
stay humble and accept everything as GIFTS
be grateful; and thou shall receive
ABUNDANCE

#remind me to read this over and over every-time
i fall into a pitfall and thinking that nobody care

It's a learning process

It's a learning process;
this life we live in
Despite the hardship and bitterness
it's still a lesson we must merge in

It's still a learning process
this life we live in
its hard.. but still we're learning

don't quit.. 
not just yet..

#kadang-kadang1

Kadang-kadang
this heart suffocate
when i feel you're 
not responsible
kadang-kadang

ENVY

Happiness i see in people
like when they hold their babies
like when they laugh with their loved ones
like when finally somebody got proposed, or engaged, or married

I envy them
i felt happy for them
yet i envy them

#Kadang-kadang

Kadang-kadang 
kita perlu bida 
untuk kembali cantek

footnote:
bida - Hodoh/ugly
cantek - yaa cantik lah