I am Fine

I am fine
don't mind me
in a few minutes
I'll be alright;
really?
is that so?
weren't you crying
under the table
when your call
wasn't answered
at all?

it's okay
it'll work out
anyway
i always kept
my pose at ease -
really?
is that so?
i thought i heard
you stomping around
holding a fist
punching the air
while
gritting your teeth

i am strong
don't pity me
i have faith -
do you really?
then why your eyes
flickering with lies
and your heart burned
gasping for air
pointing out
you're alone
with your head down
hoping for space
escapes from the lenses
you keep screaming
that you're fine
you're okay
the burden you take
when you're is taken aback
with questions
that they stated
saying that you're fake

don't hide your feelings
say what you meant
a heart meant for healing
it's not the end
it's okay
to fall and cry
it's not wrong
to punch and bawls
this heartache
this hate
will slowly fade
and turn the day
from night
we're humans
after all
incapable to fight
this heartbreak
we tend to hide

is it wrong?
to show and tell?
what this heartfelt
when love is frail?
why ashamed
to admit your gloom
when it's not yours
to blame its doom?
fine;
we're broken
but doesn't it mean
we're just human?
rather than hiding
and pretend you're gay
laughing and joking
as if you were okay?

I'm okay
don't mind me
is it really?
you're fine
completely?
just stop;
stop it
stop it
stop it stop it;
it's okay
to say you're not
we're human anyway

regardless of our fright
say it freely
say it loud
say you're greedy
you're allowed
this feeling -
this hurt;
this easing -
it will invert
when I said
i was hurt
it doesn't mean
i am dead
it just meant
i need space
from all this haze
of uncertain maze

i know
i''ll get by
from everything
that prepared me
to die
even if
you're hurt
from that person so curt;
this despair will bare
from time to time
it will care

23.3.2019

Do you still remember?

On the 7th Dec 2014
i want you to remember
the first thing you promised
when you asked me to accept you

that you'll take care of me
that you'll never make me cry
that you'll end my misery
that i'm the only one for you
do you still remember?
have you broken any of it?

i want you to remember
on the 19th April 2015
you've broke my heart and trust
Do you still remember?